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Creating a Memorial Garden Helps in Healing After a Loss
Blog Content Creator • Jul 29, 2021
There’s an old Chinese proverb that says, “If you want to be happy for a lifetime, be a gardener.” Our Affordable Burials and Cremations staff wants to give this sentiment a new twist by saying, “If you want help healing after a loss , be a gardener.”
In our own lives and through hearing stories from others, our compassionate team
understands the healing that can occur through planting and curating a memorial garden in honour of a loved one who has died. Not only is this an inspirational way to pay tribute to their life, but it also provides a peaceful place to remember how much they meant to you.
Summer is a good time of year in Toronto to think about how and where you can create a meaningful destination to retreat to when working through your grief. Planning, building, and maintaining a garden also presents an opportunity to focus on something beautiful and symbolic in the midst of what may be a painful time in your life. After all, a personal grief journey is something that is difficult to explain to others. It’s unpredictable and filled with setbacks and breakthroughs. The hope is, over time, feelings of peace, connectedness, and positivity will slowly reemerge.
In many ways, a memorial garden can help in that process. Consider these ideas when thinking about planting a garden in honour of someone you loved and lost.
- Depending on the space you have available, your memorial could be as small as a single plant or as large as a sprawling garden with many different flowers, grasses, and shrubs. Did your friend or family member have a favorite flower or plant? Perhaps they loved tulips, daffodils, or lilacs. You can select plantings based on what meant the most to them.
- What was your loved one’s favorite color, fragrance, or herb? Picture a tribute of cheerful, multi-color tulips, a lilac bush with its intense scent and stunning blooms, or an edible element featuring a simple pot of basil, mint, or cilantro.
- If your garden is in honour of your spouse or partner, bleeding hearts grow well in Toronto , as do knock out roses, and breathtaking black-eyed Susans.
- Consider the meaning behind particular trees and flowers. An oak tree is a symbol of power, courage, and strength. A birch tree represents new beginnings. The astilbe flower is said to have the meaning of “I will be waiting for you,” symbolizing patience and dedication to a loved one. Calla lilies are a traditional symbol of marriage also used to celebrate major transitions in life. Even the act of researching these meanings and symbols can aid in the healing process as this might help bring to mind special memories.
- Think about the addition of meaningful statuary or hardware. Did your loved one enjoy watching the birds come and go? A small bird statue or birdbath will bring a smile throughout the seasons. Add a bench, water feature, or even a funny or whimsical sign (“Gardeners know all the dirt”), statue, or tree hanger as a nod to their interests or sense of humor.
- If you live in an apartment or your yard is small, no problem. You can still create a memorial using perennials that you can move indoors come fall. Or purchase a special potted plant to display in a prominent location inside.
Really, the details of the garden – what you plant and where it’s located – matter less than the meaning behind it. You want to create a place that holds a special place in your heart, bringing you joy and helping you heal as days go by.
If you’re feeling “stuck” in your grief , remember that there are many ways to receive the encouragement you need. At Affordable Burials and Cremations , we’ve been helping families in the Toronto area for generations and have many connections and numerous resources available. If you’d like to learn more about the grieving process, check out our Coping with Grief Guide for answers to many questions about grief and suggestions for your own healing.
Losing a loved one changes life as you know it, but a “new normal” is possible. No matter where you are on your grief journey, remember we’re always here for you.
The death of a beloved friend or family member is one of life’s greatest challenges. Our staff at Affordable Burials and Cremations sees firsthand how a loss can turn the world upside down, creating unfamiliar feelings and unexpected reactions. Grief often affects a person physically, emotionally, and even spiritually, as they struggle to adjust to life without their loved one in it. Taking part in a grief group benefits you embracing the opportunity to express feelings with others who understand what they are going through. Some who have lost a loved one wonder if a support group could ever help them. They are so mired in their grief they can’t even imagine sitting down in a room of strangers. But support groups are a time-tested method of help for people struggling with all sorts of difficulties – and grief is among them. That said, it’s important to find a support group that works for you; one that is free of judgement, offers guidance, validation, and reassurance. Here are four groups our team recommends: GriefShare – Support online and in person for adults grieving a loss GriefShare is a friendly, caring group of people who will walk alongside you through one of life’s most difficult experiences. You don’t have to go through the grieving process alone. GriefShare seminars and support groups are led by people who understand what you are going through and want to help. You’ll gain access to valuable GriefShare resources to help you recover from your loss and look forward to rebuilding your life. Web Healing – Interactive Grief website Web Healing, the internet’s first interactive grief website, has served the bereaved on the net since 1995. It offers grief discussion boards where men and women can discuss issues related to grief and healing or browse recommended grief books. The site’s originator, Tom Golden, LCSW, is an internationally known psychotherapist, author, and speaker on the topic of healing from loss. The Compassionate Friends – Support after the death of a child Whether your family has had a child die (at any age, from any cause), or you are trying to help those who have gone through this life-altering experience, The Compassionate Friends exists to provide friendship, understanding, and hope to those going through the natural grieving process. The Compassionate Friends has been supporting bereaved families after the death of a child for four decades. Remember, no matter where you are in your grief journey, you can always turn to us for advice and assistance. We’ve been serving families in the Toronto area for more than 50 years now and have many connections and numerous resources available. You can c ount on us to be there for you – always.
1. Personalized service: Family-run businesses often provide a more personalized experience for their customers, as they may have more invested in the success of each individual customer. 2. Long-term focus: Family-run businesses prioritize long-term success over short-term gains, as they are vested in passing the business down to future generations. 3. Agility and flexibility: Family-run businesses are more agile and flexible in responding to changes in the market, as they do not have to go through multiple layers of bureaucracy to make decisions. 4. Stronger relationships: Family-run businesses have stronger relationships with their employees, as they view them more as family members than as just workers. 5. Community ties: Family-run businesses have stronger ties to the local community, as they have deep roots in the area and be more committed to supporting local initiatives. 6. Greater trust: Customers trust family-run businesses more than corporations, as they view them as more authentic and less focused solely on profits. 7. Innovation: Family-run businesses are more innovative in their approach to business, as they are more willing to take risks and try new things in order to stay competitive.
Cost: Cremation is often less expensive than traditional burial because it eliminates the need for a casket, embalming, and cemetery plot. Environmental impact: Cremation has a smaller environmental impact than burial because it doesn’t require land for burial or the use of embalming chemicals. Flexibility: With cremation, the family has more flexibility in terms of when and where to hold a memorial service, as the ashes can be kept in an urn or scattered in a location of their choice. Religious and cultural acceptance: Cremation is more widely accepted in many religions and cultures than it once was. Space-saving: Cremation allows for more efficient use of space in cemeteries, which can be a concern in some urban areas. It’s important to note that burial also has its advantages, such as providing a physical place for loved ones to visit and providing a sense of closure for some people. Ultimately, the choice between cremation and burial is a personal one and should be based on individual preferences, beliefs, and cultural practices.
When a family in Toronto is considering cremation instead of traditional burial , they may wonder if their options are limited or even impersonal – but this is definitely not the case when you choose Affordable Burials and Cremations . More people in Toronto and around Canada are choosing cremation than ever before, and our caring team will explain how we can meet your needs and wishes in creating a meaningful tribute without sacrificing the healing, traditional elements of a burial.
Beyond the many demands of assisting with a loved one’s healthcare, caregiving encompasses much more. Childcare responsibilities, help with schoolwork, and limited access to services have been heaped onto many – not to mention the general toll that caregiving can take over time.
At Affordable Burials and Cremations we’ve noticed in recent years that more and more people are planning their own funeral. And some choose to do it rather early in life – many as soon as they retire. These people realize that not only are they taking the opportunity to express their own desires about their farewell, but they’re also removing a huge burden from their family. When the time comes, there will be no guessing and no arguments about what they would have wanted. Everything will be easily accessible for you.
Throughout our lives, we collect quite a few things possessions: furniture, clothing, knickknacks, books, and more. When a family member dies , they leave their belongings behind along with the question, “What should you do with all of this stuff?” It’s no surprise this is a highly sensitive issue, as these items serve as a visible reminder of someone who meant so much to so many.
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Dear grieving mothers,
Throughout our decades of experience at Affordable Burials and Cremations , our caring team has been asked many times by families in the Toronto area what it’s like to be in deathcare, and whether our work is somehow depressing and morbid. While it is true that the work we do here is not easy, we always respond that above all else, our work is immensely rewarding. It is a tremendous honor to have someone entrust to you the planning of a loved one’s final farewell . We are also constantly inspired by the resilience of the human spirit and the strength of the family bond when facing a loss together. It is true tragedy often brings out the best in people.
